Sorrows
by koji3
Summary: AU:Basicly poems about rath. has a story to it, though. please read and review. rated pg13 just in case.{on hold}
1. Rath's Sorrow

This is my first dk fanfic so please be gentle. Hope you like it.0_0. R+R!  
  
Chapter 1- Rath's Sorrow  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~***  
  
I was waiting in the closet  
  
The screams coming from the room wouldn't stop.  
  
Fear surronded me as I prayed.  
  
Prayed for the screaming to stop.  
  
I could feel the fear, the anger, the pain begin to surrond me.  
  
I felt myself alipping away.  
  
Please oh please let the screaming stop.  
  
I wish that I was stronger.  
  
That I wasn't so afraid.  
  
Maybe then I'd be brave enough to have saved her.  
  
I curl into myself as the screams continue.  
  
Wishing they would stop.  
  
Wishing I was stronger.  
  
Thats when I heard the voice.  
  
It called out to me.  
  
And suddenly I wasn't afraid anymore.  
  
I got up and left the closet.  
  
Feeling stronger then I had ever felt before.  
  
But my wish had already come true.  
  
The screaming had stopped....and you were already gone.  
  
To late...  
  
All I could think was to late.  
  
I was to late to save you....  
  
And suddenly Iwasn't me anymore.  
  
Instead I was him.  
  
The voice had told me to choose.  
  
Which destiny I would choose.  
  
Now I know the answer.  
  
All I ever hear are the screams.  
  
Only this time they were caused by my hand.  
  
And I enjoyed them this time.  
  
.....Atleast part of me did.  
  
Becuse I wasn't me anymore.  
  
I was him.  
  
And he wasn't going to let me go free again.  
  
How foolish I was to have belived.  
  
That I had actually become strong with this choice.  
  
What I had really become was a monster.  
  
And nothing would ever be able to set me free.  
  
*************~~~~ 


	2. Why?

You know I've been terrified of writing a dk fic. I mean I had written this months ago I'm just terrified of anyone reading it. Its wierd....well back to the story. Also its about Rath (like you didn't know) and I don't know what I'm talking about s thats why nothing my make sence. I just wrote this from my imagination so it has practicly no conection to the story whatso ever. And just incase-I do not own Dragon Knights so sue me at your own risk. Why you would is beyond me but who knows.0_0. R+R  
  
Chapter 2 - Why?  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
It was over.  
  
To late I realized my mistake.  
  
Or was it really a mistake.  
  
I looked up at the man standing in front of me.  
  
He had set me free.  
  
But he had also managed to chain me.  
  
He wouldn't give me the one thing I most wanted.  
  
...How foolish I had been.  
  
To actually have believed.  
  
That I might finally be free.  
  
I'll never be free.  
  
Until my death.  
  
Until I finally fight my fight and don't return.  
  
All I can do is wait.  
  
Wait for that to come.  
  
I look at the man in front of me.  
  
He stands there.  
  
Just looking at me in disbelief  
  
I look at him with pleading eyes.  
  
"Please," I whisper to him.  
  
"Please set me free."  
  
I watch him lift up his sword for the killing blow.  
  
I feel something inside me.  
  
A sence of gratitude, I don't know.  
  
I just smiled at him.  
  
Thankful it was going to end.  
  
Only to see him crying.  
  
As he put his sword back in his sheath.  
  
My savour had betrayed me then.  
  
All I could do is stare at him.  
  
"Why?" I ask him.  
  
I couldn't believe what was happening.  
  
I had killed so many.  
  
And yet he still hadn't killed me.  
  
He just stared at me.  
  
And said.  
  
"I can't kill a child, expecially an innocent."  
  
I just stared at him.  
  
Disbelief written on my face.  
  
Then the pain came.  
  
The pain of everything I was washed over me.  
  
I just wanted it to end.  
  
The torment that was myself.  
  
I just wanted it to end.  
  
Suddenly I lunged at him.  
  
If they wouldn't end it I would.  
  
Without a thought beyond that.  
  
I reached for his sword.  
  
Only to feel something cold touch my back.  
  
Startled I turned around.  
  
Another man was behind me.  
  
And then I understood.  
  
They thought I was going to try and kill the other man.  
  
Suddenly I laughed.  
  
It had been such a long time since I had laughed that way.  
  
As if I was truely happy.  
  
Because at that moment I was.  
  
With tears of gratitude I thanked him.  
  
I let go of the sword hilt.  
  
Then pushed myself back.  
  
Back into the cold blade.  
  
Back into my freedom.  
  
My death.  
  
When I wake up they told the lord had saved me.  
  
With that I felt the dispair of my soul.  
  
Take me.  
  
'Why' I had asked him before.  
  
Only this time no one answered.  
  
'Why' I whispered.  
  
Tears in my eyes.  
  
Why....... 


	3. To Zoma

Chapter 3 -To Zoma (I forgot who i wrote this chapter to so i just wrote Zoma)  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Take flight my friend.  
  
Fly free and become one.  
  
One with your own destiny.  
  
And your freedom.  
  
To places unknown.  
  
To places I will never see.  
  
Find joy and life.  
  
Far from me.  
  
Let yourself go.  
  
And find out who you really are.  
  
Then someday you may come back.  
  
To this place of pain and suffering.  
  
But for now.  
  
Fly free my friend.  
  
And find true happiness.  
  
Take flight my friend.  
  
And be happy. 


	4. Rune's view of Rath

Chapter 4 - Rune's view of Rath  
  
****************~~~  
  
Are you really there?  
  
I see you everyday and yet I wonder.  
  
Is that really you or is that someone else.  
  
I never noticed before.  
  
Not once had I thought.  
  
That maybe you cried inside.  
  
That maybe you were hurt.  
  
That maybe you were hiding something.  
  
Something only you were allowed to know.  
  
I watch you now.  
  
And realize as I sit here.  
  
That I know nothing about you.  
  
Nothing at all.  
  
Because I hadn't wanted to know.  
  
Hoping that maybe this fear was nothing and I had thought just maybe it would go away.  
  
I never noticed, never knew, never paid any attention to your sorrows.  
  
Yet you always listened to mine.  
  
I had known you for so long.  
  
And only now I noticed the act you always play.  
  
I had enough of my own problems.  
  
....How selfish that all seemed now.  
  
I call myself your friend.  
  
Yet I know nothing about you.  
  
Nothing at all. 


	5. Snow: Snow's Fall

Chapter 5 - Snow  
  
Snow's fall  
  
*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~***~  
  
I watch the snow fall and wonder why.  
  
Why do they care.  
  
Can't they see what I really am.  
  
Can't they see that I don't deserve their love.  
  
.....because I'm not who they think I am.  
  
My soul is so black I no longer know myself.  
  
All I know is this feeling of needing to destroy everything.  
  
Because I must be destroyed.  
  
I want this end to come.  
  
But yet they won'tlet me reach it.  
  
Those fools who care.  
  
Can't they see the darkness of my soul.  
  
All I wish is to finally end it.  
  
My cursed existance.  
  
Yet those fools cannot see.  
  
Or don't want to see.  
  
I'm so tired of living.  
  
All I want is the pain in my head.....in my hearty  
  
To finally go away.  
  
I wait for that day with eagerness.  
  
The day I will be free.  
  
But I hopr those fools never see my true self.  
  
I don't think I could bare it to see them walk away.  
  
Even if I do deserve it.  
  
The wind howls in the night.  
  
I look up from my trance and sigh.  
  
The pain in my head getting worse.  
  
I watch the snow as it falls.  
  
Behind me I hear Rune get up from his chair.  
  
The sound of the door closing echos in my ears  
  
He hadn't said said good night  
  
He hadn't said anything.  
  
Rolling up in a ball I cry silent tears.  
  
Maybe he already knows my secret.  
  
Maybe they aren't fools after all. 


	6. intermission 1 fears

Am I really updating this? Will wonders ever cease? Well I was cleaning out my closet *shudder* when I found my old journal and these two peoms. Hope you like them.-peace  
  
Chapter 6 - Fear  
  
~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~  
  
It's all around us  
  
There is no light  
  
I want to run  
  
But I know  
  
That I won't succed  
  
So I stay  
  
And try to fight  
  
A losing battle  
  
But I know  
  
It's all right  
  
It's all I have  
  
Left 


	7. intermission 2 truth

I..um..promise to have better chapters next time.  
  
Chapter 7 - Truth  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
As I walk away  
  
It follows me  
  
No matter how far  
  
I run  
  
It's always there  
  
I can't hide from it  
  
But I can  
  
And will run  
  
From it. 


	8. My departed one: My lost one

Hmm....I'm not really sure if this is a good poem. Can you tell me if I should change anything? I would really appreciate it. Also 0_0 this isn't another poem that I found buried somewhere in my now empthy room =can you believe they're giving my room a new look. They even got rid of my old carpet. Luckily they let me pick out my own furniture or who knows what I would have ended up with.= though I may have gotten a little ahead of myself in this one, but uh well. Please r+r, and tell me if I need to fix anything. Hope you enjoy!

**__**

Chapter 8 – My departed one 

My lost one

~*~*****~*~*~*~*~*~*~~******~*~

Alone I walk.

The night closing in.

My breaths shallow,

My face pale.

The wind blows

Shards of ice.

Flinching from the pain

I continue to walk.

I couldn't stand 

Being in that empthy room anymore.

I had to get out.

Staggering I walk

My fears and pains

Never leaving.

What if they knew?

What would I do?

It hurts.

My life is nothing without them.

It's because of them

That I continue to fight

The darkness that is my soul.

Without them.....

I am nothing.

Stumbling I fall

On the cold hard ground.

What was the point?

Nothing matters 

Without them,

But they're gone now.

Closing my syes

I feel myself fall.

Fall into the darkness

Of my soul,

My existance.

That's when I saw it.

This blinding light.

Openibg my eyes

I feel the pain go away.

Looking up I see 

Someone.

She was standing

At the end of the street

Her body was glowing.

Her face blurry.

I feel myself falling again.

Only this time

I feel as if 

I'm finally going home.

I call out a name 

As I fall.

The name of my dear one

The name of.....my departed one

My lost one.

*~~~~~~~~*~*~****~****~~***********~

an: for those who are wondering Rath is not dead! Its just that the girl reminds him of the one in the first chpt so much he thinks she is her. Now that thats cleared up...is this really depressing? I mean really. Maybe i just can't tell since i wrote this. Then again who knows. Hoped you liked it. *heart* 


	9. intermission 3 mirror 9a

I'm really starting to get into writting these poems. This is so much fun!! Please r+r! It'd be really helpfull if you tell me of i should change something and why. Well on to intermission #3. Enjoy!

**__**

Chapter 9a – Mirror

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Who is this person I see

Looking back at me?

Always there

Yet never close enough to touch.

Are you me,

Or am I you?

Does it matter?

Who is this person I see?

The other side of me.

Are we the same,

Or are we different?

Does it even matter?

Who is this person

Who looks like me?

Are you me,

Or am I you?


	10. intermission 4 untitled 9b

This is another version of the mirror poem. Though it's incomplete. Which one do you like better?

**__**

Chapter 9b – Don't have a title yet.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I watch from the otherside

My mirror image.

That's not me.

That person who says those cruel things

Is someone else,

Dressed up like me.

I would never think such thoughts.

Not me.

Can't you see.

That's not me.

.....that's not me.....


	11. Jealousy

Well back to the story.0_0. Don't forget to r+r. Though why you would forget to read this chapter is beyond me.*smile*

****

Chapter 10 – Jealousy

~*~*~**~*~*~*~**~*~*~~*~**~~*~*~*~~**

Who was she I wonder?

That name he called me.

Why does this bother me

So much?

So what if he called

Out some woman's name?

It's not like I know him,

Even care about him.

Then why is this bothering me so much?

Why couldn't he have said my name?

Wait!

What am I thinking?

He doesn't even know me,

Let alone my name.

Ugh! Why is this bothering me so much?

I bet she's pretty.

Probably real nice, lovable and.....human.

Oh God!

Why am I so obsessed with this?

He means nothing to me!

Nothing!

Then why did you save him?

I couldn't just leave him there!

__

Yes you could have.

You have before.

It's different this time.

How?

He....hurts.

__

So do you.

So?

__

Others hurt as well.

You don't save them do you?

Even when they ask you to.

Just shut up!

Oh God!

Why did I help him?

It hurts.

Why does it hurt so much?

Seeing him with someone else.

It would never work out between us anyway.

Why won't her name leave me alone?

Why does this matter so much?

I look at him and feel...safe.

Happy.

Like I've finally found a place to belong.

.....but he called out her name.

Probably his wife or something.

It doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter!

I hope you wake up soon.

That girl's name won't go away.

Why?

It's not like I know you,

Or even care about you.

We just met today!

But her name won't go away.


	12. Dreams

Chapter 11 – Dreams

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  


It was all such a dream

So long ago

We were togrther than

Such a pleasent dream

I wish I hadn't woke up.

I wish I was still dreaming

A dream full of innocence,

Of joy, happyness, even some anger.

Then I had you

Always there

We were going to stay together

Forever.

But dreams never really last.

I remember a time

When we used to laugh

When have I last laughed,

Last smiled for real?

I wish you were here.

I wish the dream had never ended.

Such a pleasent dream.

I miss you.

You always smiled.

Were always there when I hurt.

We were happy

In the dream.

Then he came.

That's when the dream

Shattered.

You hid me in the closet.

That closet which started it all.

I remember it all so clearly.

I can still hear your screams.

They never leave me.

The dream became a nightmare.

I couldn't change.

Until I met him.

But that's another story.

Another dream.

Another nightmare.

I wish the dream still existed,

But your gone now.

And the dream will never return.

I miss you so much.

So much.

I couldn't save you.

I couldn't even save myself.

I miss your songs.

You used to always sing to me.

You were always there.

Yet I wasn't there for you

When you needed me most.

I wish I hadn't woken up.

I wish you were still here.

I wish so many things.

So many things.

I miss you so much

Sister.

~*~*~*~*~~**~~**~*~*~*~

AN: This is for everyone who was wondering who the girl in chapter one was. Is it just me or does that together forever part remind you of one of the R.L.Stine Nightmare's Room episodes. That one where that doll kept saying they were bestfriends forever. Then tried to kill/hurt off all the kisd's friends. And in the end the doll turns him into a doll etc. Yeah I just thought of that for some reason. I sisn't really like that ending that much either. Yeah well I hope this was a little diffrent than my other poems, but I have this strange felling it my be portraying the exact same message anyway. Ignore me I'm overly parinoid. And thank you again everyone who has reviewed and if you haven't reviewed thank you for reading this story. Did I mention it's my birthday today? All right I'll shut up now. Sayanara for now and God protect.


End file.
